Long time no talk

I haven’t been on here in a really long time.  I would like to say that it is because I have been busy saving the world, or something cool like that.  But in reality, I don’t really have any idea what I’ve been doing the last couple months.  Except the holidays of course.  But even now, those are long gone.  To catch all of you up, just in case anyone is out there reading this, I completed my 90 days of sobriety (yay!).  My 90th day was right before Christmas.  I am proud of myself for being able to accomplish that.  After a while it stopped being a priority to me.  And I was fine being in situations where everyone was drinking and I was just standing there with a soda or water.  I even went to a bar crawl and didn’t give in to temptation!  I know I know, I still can’t believe I was able to do that either!  But since then, I have drank.  But not anywhere close to the excess that I drank before.  I have also stuck to just beer on the occasions when I have drank.  After being sober for so long, I’m able to just have a couple of beers and be content.  Which is a pretty big deal for me.

I have also had a couple of new additions to my extended family.  My niece Kenna was born in November and my other niece Brooklyn was born just five days ago.  I will go into more detail in my next post about what family means to me, but suffice to say that I am ecstatic to have two more amazing children in my life.  Just being with them makes me happy.  And sometimes, that is one of the things I have to focus on, the things that make me happy when so much in this world doesn’t.

I am still having trouble controlling my emotions, and the fear of abandonment nearly cost me my relationship recently.  But I know that, at least for me, this is a daily battle that I face and attempt to conquer every single time I wake up.  I never know what will set off my mood.  But I am attempting to make my world as stable as I can.  And to appreciate every person in my life that remains with me through both the good and the bad.  Hopefully they can see that, overall, my good can outweigh my bad.  Even if for some stretches of time the bad is all they will see.  Some days are better than others.  Today, well today has been a pretty good day.  I am currently taking an EMT-Basic class and am so far enjoying it.  As much as I can say that getting my butt kicked by anatomy and physiology is enjoyable haha.  But by taking this class I know that I am pushing myself to learn things that I never thought I could learn.  And just by passing the test to get into the class was an accomplishment in itself.  I still have my boring desk job, but at least I am beginning to understand that there is so much more out there than the mundane 8-5 that I know.

Well, I think those are pretty much all the new or changed things in my life!  Catch you sooner rather than later 🙂

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