tech impaired. and update.

So I just realized that the previous post I had in which I attempted to upload pictures of the people in my life, was a complete fail. Except, for some reason, the last picture of Austin. I’m not sure what I did wrong, but I’m thinking that I might have to upload each picture individually. At least until I figure out, or someone explains to me, what I did wrong. So bare with me. Sorry if there’s going to be a lot of one picture posts. I still want to share all of these pictures with you guys because these people are still of upmost importance to me and I would like to share them with the world. There will also be some new pictures of people that I have no talked about previously, but who have become central figures in my life over the past couple months.

Before I start with the picture posts, I will give a quick update of my life since I haven’t been on here in a while. Everything is going great. I am still taking my meds, which have been true lifesavers for me. I see things so much clearer and my emotions no longer have such a strong pull on my mental state. I feel that I am finding it easier to breathe and to just enjoy life. My softball season has ended for the time being, but throughout the season I made a lot of new friends and was asked to play in several tournaments, which I love. I’ve found somewhat of a new “world” in the softball community and I enjoy the new opportunites it is providing to me. For a while there, I lost a couple of key friendships, but I have come to see that with those friendships I did not lose much because they were not people who had my best interests at heart. They brought negativity into my life for a long time and put me into environments that fed my negative emotions and caused me to be in unhappy places mentally. I have now replaced those friendships with new ones and I have found that having good people in my life helps my BPD almost as much as the meds. Like I said, I have been able to breathe for the first time in a long time, and it is an amazing feeling.

My girlfriend and I are still going strong. She is as amazing as ever. While we challenge each other, it is in nothing but good ways that helps each of us grow as individuals but also in our relationship. She pushes me to be a better person. And she supplies me with the support that I need, which is something that I have never found in other relationships. Don’t get me wrong, it is not all unicorns and rainbows, but at this point in my life, she is exactly what I needed. She found me at my lowest, and she has helped bring me to a place where I am the happiest I have been in a long time.

About four months ago, my girlfriend’s sister (Vanessa) and her fiance (Todd) moved in with us. While it was an adjustment at first, they have brought a lot of good into my life. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. I have had several talks with Todd about my disorder and events in my life and I have found that he has been nothing but supportive. He can relate to me in a lot of ways that not many people can, and while we have traveled different paths, I have found in him a little brother that will always have my back. A little over two weeks ago, Vanessa and Todd brought into the world their first child. Her name is Audrey and she is the cutest little thing in the world. It has taken new adjustments by everyone to now have a newborn in the house, but I am already in love with her and love being able to watch her grow from the very beginning. My girlfriend and I are able to share in all of those “first” moments that most of the time only the actual parents are able to witness and, in a very short amount of time, Audrey has become somewhat of the center of all of our lives. I know that they will not be living with us forever, but for the time being, the little family that we have become together is a great place to be.

The house that I owned before I ever met my girlfriend has now become a home. And I couldn’t love the place where I’m at in life any more than I already do. I know that life can change or be altered in a matter of minutes, and BPD can rear it’s ugly head at any moment. I have witnessed it happen. I have endured it happening. But right now, in this moment, life is good. And really, all I can live for is this moment. Because nothing else is guaranteed.

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